Belly Buster

I went on a little shopping expedition last night...to find the perfect empire-waisted gown to wear to an upcoming wedding. I'm not asking for much...just something that will cradle my ample cleavage and leave me some room for my growing belly. Apparently, empire dresses are no longer in style? I seem to recall seeing them on the red carpet on many a pregnant celebrity. Oh, wait, wait, wait...I live in Salina. Land of The Buckle, Maurices, and Rue 21, where there are no options, only style-free choices that will no doubt make me look like a very well-developed high schooler, not a mother-to-be who is just 12 days shy of turning 29. And forget about maternity dresses. First of all, I know that at this point, I'd be swimming in them. Secondly, I've seen what that bitch Liz Lange offers at Target and she's crazy if she thinks I'm plunking down my hard earned cash for that crap. I keep seeing all these cute designs she has, so where in the heck are they? Apparently not at the local Target. So, it's either order online (which I really hate to do since at this point my size is out the window), or dig through the archives and wear something from the 1984 Dorothy Zbornak caftan collection. Maybe some slouch boots to go with it?

Let's not mention the fact that I also looked at bras last night. I know I need to do it. My poor girls are crying out for something better. They deserve better! I couldn't do it just yet - I'm slightly ashamed to be entering the realm of DD when just a few short weeks ago, I was on the small end of a D, loving that maybe one day I'd venture into the beloved C size again. I felt so sorry for myself I went home and gave myself a pedicure - one of my favorite things to do. And I cherished every moment, as I know it's a luxury that I will no longer to be able to offer myself in a few months. Someone else will have to do it and it seems I am never truly happy unless I do it myself. You know, when my belly is so big that I will have to resort to slip-on shoes only because I will be unable to actually tie shoes. On top of that, I think, how will I shave my legs? Heaven forbid, my bikini line? For the love of god, I hope that I can find some way to avoid looking like an untrimmed hedge. A bushwoman, if you will.

My body is definitely changing...it's not obvious yet to everyone that there is a little being growing inside of me, but I can definitely tell. And not just by how I look or my clothes...it's so weird how your stomach takes on this hard, roundness - one that you can actually appreciate because it's so extraordinary. I would always wonder why pregnant women touched their bellies a lot, and now I know because I do it all the time. I find myself laying with a hand over my stomach. Just sitting at my desk and feeling it because I can't believe what's in there! I look at it constantly! I swear, everytime I go to the bathroom, I pull up my shirt just to check it! I definitely have my moments where I'd like to know what the little peanut is, but overall, it's exciting to know that I'm going to have a little surprise when it's born. I have really had a wonderful experience so far, so I wish that for all of you if decide to have little ones. Now if I could just find a damn dress!