Jack

I was just looking at some pictures of Jack on my desk. In one, he is smiling toothlessly as he waits for Santa by the tree. In another, he is gazing at the camera, in one of his first balancing acts at the edge of the sofa. Then there's my personal favorite, a shot of him by the pool, wearing a bucket cap, probably 4 or 5 months old, looking exactly like a Teletubby. He's so stinking cute. Who would have thought he would grow up to call me "umpire" as often as he calls me mommy? The boy, who at the end of the day says he has too many tanquito bites and would like some moat (milk) ... just a 'lil bit, he bargains. Some of my favorite things about my little babe today:

1. He wants to sit on the counter (and get into everything) while I get ready for work.
2. He discovered a major love of capers the other night after picking them all out of my pasta and said they were like "sunflower seeds"
3. He enjoys brushing his teeth, but mostly just sucks on the toothbrush.
4. He tries to whistle, but it comes out as a high-pitched squeal.
5. He is an absolute daredevil but is terrified of spiders, which has forced me to face my fear because I have to dispose of them all in his presence.
6. He says "poop" a lot. I get after him, but it's really funny to hear him say it. Lots. Poop, poo poo, poopy.
7. Last night when trying to go to the bathroom on the "big boy potty", he said "Come out, pee!".
8. He loves to "dip" when we dance. Another trick we picked up last night.
9. He told the babysitter I like "bad boys". ????
10. He loves cooking with me, which I think is darling. I'm going to let him try his own recipes when he gets a little older.

Ah, Jack. I can't believe in four months he is going to be a big brother. Doesn't seem possible because he is still my baby and knows it. I think he will make an excellent brother - as long as he doesn't use the baby's head as a batting tee or a football.

I can't decide if I'm feeling extraordinarily full of ideas or just so caught up at work that I feel I should be blogging about my ridiculously interesting life. Yesterday we put the crib up (hubby did it, last time I helped, a divorce nearly ensued) and moved dressers around. And then I was not happy with the result, so they're getting moved again. Although, this time I don't think I can help quite as much because I could barely get out of bed today. Which is not unlike most days, but today was worse. I also went through some of Jack's newborn things, finding all of the neutrals so baby has a head start on his/her wardrobe. They are so tiny! Hard to believe just two short years ago, Jack was wearing the very same thing.

I don't remember feeling ridiculously bloaty/gassy last time around. You know the feeling - when you're with a new guy or on a first date, or in a presentation/meeting, and you hold the first one in and then it just snowballs until your belly feels like a rock and the minute you leave, the gas just blows out of you like a deflating tire. Only the air isn't coming out this time. I was actually in a meeting once where a guy just let them fly. First his belly was making high pitched noises (or maybe it was his ass), then he finally just let it fly and said, "excuse me" and kept going. I almost had to leave the room. I almost died. I wanted to die. It was a professional meeting! Or as professional as you can get in an office where the dress code is that there is no dress code. I could wear sweats to work. But I digress. Ugh. I began thinking of other frightening pregnancy scenarios, one of which included me swelling up like a giant Stay-Puft marshmallow man from the heat of the summer. I won't be able to wear my shoes. I'll be confined to flip flops and my toes will hang over the edges like giant sausages. I'll get rashes in between from the friction. My rings will have to be cut from my bulging, purple fingers. I will most definitely avoid all sunflower seed consumption at baseball games. Another included a giant, overnight growth spurt by baby in which I wake to find my entire stomach covered in gnarly, red stretch marks. As if my cat has suddenly sprouted claws and used my belly as a scratching post. There are any number of things that can make my imagination run wild - and I wonder where Jack gets it.

I will say, I have been disappointed that I haven't had any baby dreams yet. Last night I dreamt I was part of the Friends cast and we were saying our goodbyes before the final show aired. Not too long ago, I dreamt Nick Stokes and I were CSI partners who secretly loved each other. But no baby dreams. This could be a good thing considering my current mental state. Maybe they start later on in pregnancy. I can't remember.

I have Jack stories but I will save them for next time. I have a slew of pictures Jack took with the camera that I need to post also. Until then...

Conversations from last night (in bed):
Jack: Mommy, I'm sick.
Me: What's wrong?
Jack: My leg hurts. Right here.
Me: Want me to kiss it or rub it?
Jack: Yes. Rub it. Now this leg (pointing to other leg).
Me: Is that better? Are you ok now?
Jack: No. My arm hurts too. Rub this one. And this one.
Me: Feeling better now? What do you need?
Jack: I'm better. I'm not sick anymore.

Minutes later...

Jack: Mommy, I'm sick.
Me: Sweetie, are you ok? What's wrong?
Jack: My head hurts right here (pointing to forehead).
Me: Should I kiss it?
Jack: Yeah. (I kiss) I'm not sick anymore.

I love it.

Conversations from this morning:
Jack: Mommy, I saw two turtles. And two bucks.
Me: You did? Where?
Jack: I did! I saw 'em. Two bucks. I shot 'em in their beds. (Gasp)
Me: No, we don't do that, their mommies will be sad.
Jack: No, I did it.

With that, he crawled under the covers and went back to sleep on my belly.

Ack! My child is a cold blooded animal killer. This is why I hate hunting - I've got a two-year old kid talking about shooting things. It's waaaaaay too early in life for this. I know he hasn't exactly grasped the concept of death and shooting things is fun for a little boy, but this is too much. I am banning all hunting talk until he is much older. On the other hand, he's actually the sweetest. I know he doesn't realize what he's saying, he's simply talking about animals because he loves them (except spiders and the thought of possible dinosaurs at night). His imagination runs wild with stories to regale us with. He's a baseball player, he had coffee with an umpire, he went to baseball and football practice, there are deer everywhere, he refereed a game, and on and on. It's truly awesome to listen to him. And you have to listen, because he never stops to let you get a word in.

And the littlest G.....is growing! And moving like crazy. Just yesterday my belly completely changed shape in the blink of an eye. Last night while hubby snored and I was still on a high from Gilles on DWTS, I sat and felt baby moving for a good hour. Time is flying...can it really be week 21 already? I feel huge. Like a pot-bellied pig. I'm still wearing heels and I'm still running and teaching class, but I feel repulsive. In a few weeks when it's 100 degrees out and my belly is really gargantuan, I will be cursing the sun and praying for my own personal deep freeze to nap in. I can't wait.

Clothes...and a Few Other Things

My biggest battle today, besides dealing with the most annoying person in the world (who I will not name and I only wish you knew who you were because I truly detest you) has been keeping my zipper up. It's difficult when a rubber band is holding up your jeans. Thank goodness for a long shirt & scarf, I suppose. A scarf is my go-to these days. Seems I still find myself, at week 20, in the "fat stage" - between a baby bump and a Goodyear Radial. It makes a nice cover up until I am ready to unveil the bump at its finest. I purchased the "Bella Band" - some miracle device that is supposed to magically hold up your pants for all of the in-between phases - pre-maternity wear, too huge for maternity (scary), and the "fourth trimester" when your belly is a giant jelly roll and trying to find the right place on your body again. Let me say that the BB doesn't work well under fitted items. You can see a freaking line and it's ridiculous. When you sit, it rolls up (or down) and you're constantly adjusting. I have found it's only use is for running - great support. So, eventually, it will have the tinge of my sweaty labors. Yum.

The second thing that makes me not know if I want to giggle or retch is the fashion advice I have seen in some of my pregnancy books/websites. They all say, "When your clothes get uncomfortable or too small, borrow something from your husband's closet!" Oh. My. Effing. Crap. Who would do that in public? I mean wearing his sweats while you're lounging around the house with the latest copy of US Magazine in one hand and a bowl of ice cream in the other is one thing. Leaving the house in his oxford and dress pants is something else entirely. Hideous. Some items accidentally got purchased online today, so I hope hubby doesn't mind. I really need them. I swear. They just threw themselves into my shopping cart before I could stop them.

Baby is moving around a lot more these days, fluttering around in my flotation device. I am really excited for Jack to be able to feel and see it move. Laying on baby is getting increasingly harder for us, although I am willing to deal just to have him cuddle with me. I think it's the next best thing to having his baby blankie & a sippy cup of milk for him. It soothes him. He is finally sleeping through the night! Which is awesome because now that he's sleeping, I can't, and in a few months it simply won't be possible. Isn't it amazing how little sleep we can go on? What's even more amazing is that we don't seem to mind. Getting to bed is harder for Jack these days. He is ready to go, but insists that I stay, saying, "lay with me" until he is ready to say goodnight. Of course I oblige. We usually talk about animals, sing our songs - "Row Row Row Your Boat" is a new favorite - or talk about the baseball practice he says he goes to. These are conversations I wish I could record every single night because they are awesome. He also discusses whether or not the Cookie Monster/a spider is going to come and get him and last night he said, "Mommy, you don't have pants on! You're naked!". I wasn't and where the hell did he learn the word naked? These talks are better than the one in the grocery store recently. "Mommy, I no like you. I like Daddy." Ouch. Tears welling. Is that supposed to start this early? He was kissing me a few moments later so I can only assume that it was some other child being so hateful and pregnancy was causing me to hallucinate.

Well, it's 10:00 and I should be sleeping (yes, it's my bedtime). I'm stuck on the edge of the bed between a body pillow and a Yellow Lab. Hubby is snoring and no doubt Jack is too. The Royals are on (and winning!). Life is good.

Things to Do

Well, today marks day two of week 19. Can it really be almost halfway over? I feel like it just started, then on the other hand I feel like time couldn't possibly go any slower. After realizing over the weekend that I was extraordinarily behind on actually getting "baby stuff" done, I hustled on over to Lowe's for some QTA with myself and the paint swatches. So, the painting is done - during Jack's nap, of course. With help from Rex Walters the cat as he lounged in the baby chair. Next, bedding, moving furniture, cleaning closets, adding window treatments....it seemed so easy the the first round when I had loads of this thing called time. I admit, I do feel guilty for not getting things done sooner. In my defense, I have been predictably indecisive on bedding, so that's my excuse.

So, speaking of being half done - my belly. It's half beer belly, half too many rounds with chile con queso. Where is the cute, round bump? It's not even round. I'm not sure it's even a belly. I think I'm in the beginning stages of "Dunlap's Disease". I do not have a cute belly bump. Not at this stage in the game. It's sort of horrifying. The only good thing is that it still makes a nice spot for Jack to lay his head. And speaking of Jack...

I have to say, the kid is impressive. I mean, he just is! "Let's race!" he says, while we're driving. "Who?", I'll say. His reply - "That car right there!" He has realized that going to weddings is not fun (for a two year old) and a couple of weekends ago, right in the middle, he said, "Let's go home," in his best whiny bear voice. Off we went to enjoy the rest of the ceremony playing on the steps with the other belligerent children. The good news is that the reception gave him ample floor space for dancing, running, and taking inventory of the toddler gals. Until we left at the ripe old hour of 9:00. I'm not sure the party had even started. So, I was talking about how he's impressive and I haven't really gotten to that yet. Picture a boy, being pushed in his stroller past a cemetery and asking to see his Papa Everett - whom he's never met, just kissed a headstone and seen his mother talk to the ground when we go visit. Just picture a child, noticing a large bruise on his mother's leg as she uses the toilet. A very concerned child kisses said bruise and says, "There! All better!". Picture said child using toilet on his very own! And doing it every day more than once! Not always unattended, but at times. Potty training might be easier than I possibly imagined. Then again, I could be putting the cart before the horse because I have a strange fear that once baby comes, regression will come right along with it. He has already said, "Mommy, feed me," and makes me hold his sippy cup as he lays in my arms like a baby. But I also think he's going to be an amazing big brother. He is excellent with babies and will kiss and love on them. I do believe he knows his limits (unlike with poor B at the sitter's). We'll see how it goes when new baby is taking him away from "my mommy".

Meanwhile, I will make a list of the bazillion things that need to be done in our household before the big arrival. A list of chores, fix-its, meals I can stockpile (ok, I probably won't really do that. I did it with Jack and I think it all wound up freezing to death), and general things to hopefully make my life easier. I just realized I should probably start getting extra diapers at the store. I just realized we probably won't have time for any of this, but I will keep hoping that it can all miraculously be finished during nap time.