Well, what in the hell. Yesterday was my due date, so where in the hell is my baby? You mean you don't actually have your baby on the due date? Crazy. So yes, yesterday was the day, but as expected, it came & went and here I sit at my office...2 hours and 51 minutes of hell left before the weekend and my official maternity leave beginning. I hope I have the baby this weekend...wouldn't that be great? Start off Monday with a bang!
God, I'm ready. I'm ready! Baby, can you hear me?!? Please come out. I can barely wipe when I go to the bathroom, for heaven's sake. I can't bend over. I can barely roll over - I need the strength of a bodybuilder to get out of bed. I got a fab-u-lous new pair of boots. I can't get them on. That definitely warranted a hissy fit. I have organized my desk over and over. Leaving notes for everyone at the end of each day - just in case. I pretty much secured my spot in the office for the entire week. Being that organized can only be an occupational hazard. I was destined to not have the baby any time prior to the due date. I'm having contractions, everyone keeps saying, this is it! Today's the day! Quit toying with me, people!
The good news is, there's light at the end of the tunnel. I know that baby is coming soon...I know I will spend several glorious days in nothing but sweats, getting to know my little darling, learning the ropes, bonding as a family with baby, hubby, and yes, the dogs. Let's get this party started, folks!
Friday, February 02, 2007
Friday, January 19, 2007
Time to Go
It's time. I can no longer have this baby in my belly. I'm sure there comes a point in every woman's pregnancy where she literally believes she will be with child forever. I'm there. I sit here at my desk, a baby smashed under my ribs (don't they EVER drop, for eff's sake?), 38 weeks and 1 day pregnant. 13 days until the estimated go-time. I was pleasantly surprised to know that Dr. Wonderful will not let me go past one week over this date. She is a savior. Here I was thinking I was going to be in misery until Valentine's Day. I don't know how I have progressed. Am I dilated? Effaced? It's hilarious that people I don't even know will ask me "is your cervix softening?". Someone actually asked me that at the hair salon last night. Seriously? Did you just ask me about my cervix? How's your vagina today, lady? And you have to be gracious because for some reason people are completely fascinated with pregnancy. Total strangers ask you questions without a second thought!
As I mentioned, I did make a trip to the hair salon last night. I made it as close to DD as possible, not knowing when I can get back into the joint to get it done again. Next week: pedicure. Is it wrong that I am going to actually do my toes before the pedicure just in case I go into labor? Don't think I won't do it. So now that I'm coiffed and toes will be looking delicious very soon, I can officially have this baby. Ha. In the spirit of all things baby, I purchased a darling polka-dotted nightgown for hospital wear. No sense in having my bum hanging out of a backless, paper gown. I also indulged in some darling new slipper socks to match. And yes, I've got my beloved Victoria's Secret (yes, there are still some things I can use from my beloved lingerie store) robe. Bags are packed and ready. Nursery is re-painted and decorated. Yes, I said repainted. What in God's name was I thinking the first time I did it? Everything at the office is in order. I have everything taken care of - which literally ensures that the baby will not come until the last possible moment. Oh, and I will not mention the fact that the gorgeous and ever-so-sexy nursing bras arrived in the mail yesterday. I tried on one of the tank tops I got, pulled down the hatch and saw my boob hanging out and laughed for an hour. Hideous.
I'm sure I'm forgetting something. There's something I haven't done - something major that I will need more than any other item in the house. Whatever it is, I'm sure I will figure it out...it will be 2:00 in the morning with stores closed and I will need it desperately, but it will happen. Let's all send telepathic messages to the little one this weekend and let him/her know that now is the time! Let's meet this little bambino!!! Have a great weekend...I'm out.
As I mentioned, I did make a trip to the hair salon last night. I made it as close to DD as possible, not knowing when I can get back into the joint to get it done again. Next week: pedicure. Is it wrong that I am going to actually do my toes before the pedicure just in case I go into labor? Don't think I won't do it. So now that I'm coiffed and toes will be looking delicious very soon, I can officially have this baby. Ha. In the spirit of all things baby, I purchased a darling polka-dotted nightgown for hospital wear. No sense in having my bum hanging out of a backless, paper gown. I also indulged in some darling new slipper socks to match. And yes, I've got my beloved Victoria's Secret (yes, there are still some things I can use from my beloved lingerie store) robe. Bags are packed and ready. Nursery is re-painted and decorated. Yes, I said repainted. What in God's name was I thinking the first time I did it? Everything at the office is in order. I have everything taken care of - which literally ensures that the baby will not come until the last possible moment. Oh, and I will not mention the fact that the gorgeous and ever-so-sexy nursing bras arrived in the mail yesterday. I tried on one of the tank tops I got, pulled down the hatch and saw my boob hanging out and laughed for an hour. Hideous.
I'm sure I'm forgetting something. There's something I haven't done - something major that I will need more than any other item in the house. Whatever it is, I'm sure I will figure it out...it will be 2:00 in the morning with stores closed and I will need it desperately, but it will happen. Let's all send telepathic messages to the little one this weekend and let him/her know that now is the time! Let's meet this little bambino!!! Have a great weekend...I'm out.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Hair Bands, High Heels, and Stretch Pants
In the words of the great 80's hair band, Europe, "It's the final countdown"! Approximately 3 weeks until my due date...21 days. 504 hours. 30,240 minutes. It's hard to believe a few short months ago I was blabbing about a safety pin holding my pants up and now my best friend has become elastic. I highly recommend the Old Navy yoga pant for anyone who might be expecting. Absolute gems! I do believe the crotch is about to blow out in one pair because I have worn them so much. So comfy, so cute (the pants, not a blown out crotch). An excellent investment for anyone with a bun in the oven. Or anyone who might be enjoying a personal glutton bowl and needs a little room to spare in their trousers. I love them!
The second thing that I love is that I am still wearing my heels. And I'm not talking about kitten heels or anything puny here. I'm talking, I am still wearing my shit-kicking, fabulous heels that I spent a lot of money on so you bet your ass I'm wearing them heels! Yahoo for me! I personally don't feel that I would feel like my normal, delightful self if I wasn't. If I wore flats everyday, not only would I feel lost, but I would also be walking around the office looking like I had morphed into a tree trunk. High heels make everything better.
Last night was my final hurrah in pilates class until the little one comes. It got pretty comical towards the end. Did I have an exercise ball stashed away under my shirt? Nothing works the way it did pre-pregnancy or even the early rounds. Legs don't straighten, arm strength begins to wither...this all started around the fifth month. I was a hideous sight. I am assured by my teacher that everything will return to normal. Do you think she means my belly and lady bits as well? I plan on keeping up the walking and whatever else I can do, but I'm so ready to be able to run again and exercise normally!
Baby is getting uncomfortable in its little cocoon. I believe this because momma is extremely uncomfortable. Not so much kicking anymore as general pushing and shoving going on. My belly is constantly rippling and has little feet and hands sticking out everywhere. I'm convinced baby has taken to a spread-eagle position and gotten stuck. This is especially enjoyable at night because pillows no longer have an effect on my comfort. I encase myself in a pillow fort because this is what "they" all say to do. Well, eff them! It doesn't work. I wake up approximately every half hour to an hour. Not to mention, the dog has decided the body pillow is her favorite and gets as close to me as humanly possible in order to snuggle. Rolling over is like moving a 1000 lb boulder - it would be easier to do if I had a crane attached to the bed. At least when the baby is waking me up I will be mobile - in a stupor, but mobile.
Well, baby, you can come out anytime now. I know you won't, because in my life, a February 1 due date really means the 13th. I know you will come when you are ready, but it's ok to be an early bird. I'm ready to don my superhero cape and be your mommy.
The second thing that I love is that I am still wearing my heels. And I'm not talking about kitten heels or anything puny here. I'm talking, I am still wearing my shit-kicking, fabulous heels that I spent a lot of money on so you bet your ass I'm wearing them heels! Yahoo for me! I personally don't feel that I would feel like my normal, delightful self if I wasn't. If I wore flats everyday, not only would I feel lost, but I would also be walking around the office looking like I had morphed into a tree trunk. High heels make everything better.
Last night was my final hurrah in pilates class until the little one comes. It got pretty comical towards the end. Did I have an exercise ball stashed away under my shirt? Nothing works the way it did pre-pregnancy or even the early rounds. Legs don't straighten, arm strength begins to wither...this all started around the fifth month. I was a hideous sight. I am assured by my teacher that everything will return to normal. Do you think she means my belly and lady bits as well? I plan on keeping up the walking and whatever else I can do, but I'm so ready to be able to run again and exercise normally!
Baby is getting uncomfortable in its little cocoon. I believe this because momma is extremely uncomfortable. Not so much kicking anymore as general pushing and shoving going on. My belly is constantly rippling and has little feet and hands sticking out everywhere. I'm convinced baby has taken to a spread-eagle position and gotten stuck. This is especially enjoyable at night because pillows no longer have an effect on my comfort. I encase myself in a pillow fort because this is what "they" all say to do. Well, eff them! It doesn't work. I wake up approximately every half hour to an hour. Not to mention, the dog has decided the body pillow is her favorite and gets as close to me as humanly possible in order to snuggle. Rolling over is like moving a 1000 lb boulder - it would be easier to do if I had a crane attached to the bed. At least when the baby is waking me up I will be mobile - in a stupor, but mobile.
Well, baby, you can come out anytime now. I know you won't, because in my life, a February 1 due date really means the 13th. I know you will come when you are ready, but it's ok to be an early bird. I'm ready to don my superhero cape and be your mommy.
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