I Can See the Light...

Is anyone even reading this anymore? I have no idea. I know my posts get fewer & farther between, but that's only because I rarely have the energy to be as witty as I once was. Only 5 weeks left in this little adventure and it can't come soon enough. I sit here at my desk completely uncomfortable. There is a small foot (butt? arm?) that has lodged itself into my side. It feels like a boulder when I touch it and it hurts. Yes, child, you are already hurting your mother. Sitting is the worst possible position for me, so guess what I do all day at work? I sit. At my desk. Feeling sorry for myself. What I want to do is lay down and have a siesta underneath my desk. Occasionally I will get up to stretch my body out and take a lap or two around the building - that way I can move the baby around and look like I'm actually working - two birds with one stone! And today I am sweating. I feel like running to the break room and climbing into the freezer.

So, back to the 5 weeks. Yes!!! Finally, there is light at the end of the tunnel. There are times when I feel I've been pregnant forever. I'm tired now. My body is creaking like a 100-year-old door. And I haven't even had it rough...this has been easy to what it could have been. Sure, I probably shouldn't complain, but I'm going to anyway. Momma is sick of maternity wear. Sick of subleasing her body! Momma wants to be able to put on her beautiful new boots without panting or finally giving up and having hubby do it for her. Yes, that's right, my name is Mary and my husband occasionally helps me put my boots on. I want my boobies to be of normal size again (yes, I can forget that for awhile with breastfeeding), I want to actually be able to see the lawn while I'm manicuring it - another task hubby may have to take over (extremely scary to think about). I'd like the occasional cocktail. I'd like to be able to enjoy Pilates or a jog without being completely worthless for the rest of the day. All superficial and selfish reasons, I admit. The main reason is simply that I am impatient and want to meet the little one and be a mom. Not to mention, I've got some darling outfits I can't wait to put on the little monkey!

I never thought I'd be tired of talking about being pregnant, but I am. Every time I see someone it's the same damn questions - even if I just saw them the day before. I know, it's mean, but I've never once claimed to be a sweetheart. I am impatient and pregnancy magnifies that trait 100%. Everyone is an expert and has their opinions. They all seem to know the sex of the baby. Did they see something I didn't during the sonogram? Were they in the room? Is it possible that x-ray vision does exist? I know it's only going to get worse! I'm more of a "I'll ask you when I want to know" person...but I understand, people are only trying to help. I've been doing my reading and I know I'm not alone in this, but I still feel like a meanie.

So, in a few days we hit up the doctor for the 36 week appointment and I'm told I will have the Group B Strep test. I did a little research and come to find out, I will be violated in places that are exit-only. What in the eff? But the exciting thing is (well, as exciting as a pelvic exam can be) is that I will get an idea of baby's location and how I am starting to progress. Well, this is what I assume - but I am occasionally wrong. Personally, I do not want to be weighed anymore - the scale is no longer my friend. I think the nurse can make an educated guess and leave it at that. She can even shave off a few pounds if she is so inclined. Let's skip over the peeing in a cup ordeal - I usually miss and go all over my hand. I can't see down there, so I'm basically shooting in the dark. And I love the sign that says to collect the "middle portion" of the urine. By the time I actually hit the cup, it's more of a trickle, so they're lucky if they get any of it.

Ah, pregnancy. Enjoyable, delightful and wonderful, but I'm ready for the next stage. I don't mean to scare anyone into thinking it's a miserable experience, but it's time for it to be over!

I hope you all had a delightful holiday - those of you who still read this, that is. Take care and have a happy new year! xoxo