I was just thinking today of all the quirky little things my bears do. I know everyone does them, but today - just for posterity, I guess - I wanted to list them.

Jack:
1. He rubs his baby (blankie) on his face when he drinks milk. He also is known to pull up his pant legs and shirt so that the silky side of his big blankie (father to Baby) can touch his skin.
2. He loves his blankets to be cold and likes us to shake them out so that they get cool. He is very cranky pants if his blankies get sat on and get hot. What a nut!
3. He cannot be bothered in the morning until after his jolt of morning java..aka milk. Sort of like me and not talking until after I've showered.
4. He remembers EVERYTHING. Six months after the fact, he will remember minute details of random encounters.
5. He always puts his feet under my legs or between them - even if we are under the covers.
6. He has to have his closet doors closed at night. I'm not sure if this is a fear of what lurks in their dark corners or if he is just anal like me. Both?

Charlotte:
1. She fake coughs because it gets our attention and because she gets a huge kick out of it.
2. In between bites of food, she chews on her thumb.
3. She pants when she wants me to hold her - and tries not to laugh while doing it.
4. Her yellow blankie is already her favorite to sleep with.
5. When I lay her in bed, she immediately rolls to the exact same spot every time - curled into a ball on her left side with her head touching the bumper pad.
6. She loves spatulas. A future chef?

The kiddos have been swimming and both love the water. Summer is in full swing with baseball (bat boy pics to come), heat, and house projects. We are all busy but loving life and everything that goes along with it.

The kids have been cracking me up lately. Jack can be described in many, many words and clever is just one of them. We have a game called "Animal Kisses" where he names the animal and I kiss him like I think that animal would kiss (imagine how creative I have to get on raccoon, mountain lion, turtle...). We've been doing it since he was about one, but lately he's taken it to another level. We'd probably do it for hours before bedtime, but I finally had to limit it to five animals. This way, we can count, and I don't spend an hour laying in his bed while he should be sleeping. Cut to the other night. In between each animal he asked about 40 questions (his clever little way of delaying the inevitable). After #4, I said, "Ok, now, one more. What kind of animal are you going to pick?". Jack, never with a shortage of animals on the brain says, "Hmm. A fifth animal...think, think, think," as he taps his chin thoughtfully. I almost rolled out of bed laughing...and the next day purchased him "How Many Kisses Do You Want Tonight?", a fun kids' book that still has not arrived. I can't wait. Yesterday I caught him reading "I Love You Through and Through" to himself. Out loud - because we've read it so many times he has it memorized.

Our deck is being rebuilt and he watches the guys work out the window. Yesterday he told one of them, "Hey! Look at Millie! She's trying to poop." Millie = our dog. At least it wasn't him, right? Small miracles. Our floors are also getting re-done (thank heavens!!!) and he has been running around behind us, hammering nails (real and imaginary) into the floor. His baseball obsession is about to reach another level with hubby's season starting next week. I'm torn between wondering if he will last the entire game in the dugout, or about two innings, then come asking for popcorn. I wish he could play t-ball but he has to be four. However, I honestly feel that his skills are beyond t-ball. Sounds bad, but the boy does not want to hit off of a tee. He wants to be pitched to - and he can hit it over the front yard and past the driveway. If that's not an MLB home run title waiting to happen, I don't know what is. And clearly, he got my hitting skills.

And Charlotte. My sweet baby girl. All at once, she is doing everything. Crawling is now sitting and climbing. She climbs over, under, and can stand in her crib. She does a full plank (really) and is obsessed with the fireplace tiles. Outside, she can't stay on the blanket - she just wants to pull grass and eat it. She is very thoughtful but also quite a wild woman. She is constantly on the go. My money is on her walking before the summer is over. She loves to stare at the baby in the mirror and laugh - she is so pleased by everything. Her next endeavor is swimming lessons starting next month. I can't wait. Jack calls her "cutie pie" and "little girl" in his little sing song voice. "Chaaalett", he says.

My babies are growing and growing. Jack starts preschool in the fall and Charlotte will be one before I can blink. I wish I could freeze time or bottle it up to save for later when I'm longing for the days of Animal Kisses with Jack and slobbery baby love with Charlotte. Every phase seems to be a new favorite for me, but I never want any of them to end.

New cleats - he put them on immediately and slept with them next to his bed.
He is very serious here. And very tired.

Miss Charlotte...sunning herself in Dallas.

Jack - jumping off of the waterfall at our friends' house in Dallas.
Quite the daredevil!

Eating in the car = brilliant idea.
Not sure what to say here, except that I love her little arms. And her head looks giant.

Seems like years since I've blogged! So much has happened - well, in our world anyway. Sadly, we lost a very special lady in our lives, Jason's G'ma Peg. She will be missed in so many ways for so many wonderful things. Two grandmas gone in six weeks' time is scary and emotionally draining for everyone.
Jack is still talking all.the.time. He never stops. A sample of our daily conversations includes (but is not limited to):
1. Can pumas eat/hurt coyotes? Followed by foxes, jaguar, tiger, cat, dog, etc.
2. Do foxes eat dead animals on the road (I'm sorry I ever mentioned that)?
3. Is B (friend at sitter's) going to be at school today?
4. Is J (sitter's son) at school today?
5. Is this spring break?
6. Can Cade & Riley come over (he has actually started calling them to ask)?
7. What team are you on? I'm the Coyotes (much to hubby's dismay, as he is a Swede).
8. Can coyotes beat cougars?
9. Can we take BP?
10. I want to lay in your bed for a long time (every night pre-bedtime).
11. Can we listen to "Low Low"? Followed by "Turn it down, I'm sleeping (closed eyes)", then "I'm awake! Turn it up!"

Some days are like a broken record. I've answered these questions at least a million times apiece and they show no signs of waning - although we do get variations. I wonder if all three year olds are this way? I haven't been around many three year olds to know, but most days of the week definitely feel like Groundhog Day.

Charlotte has two shiny, new teeth and puts them to great use on my fingers and anything else that happens to get in the line of fire. She is crawling! Well, sort of. I would call it an "army" crawl, but I'm not even sure that's what it is - and she can fly! It is definitely time to bring the baby gate back out. She manages to charm everyone with her infectious laugh, baby blues, and her latest - the head toss she does when she is amused. She opens her mouth wide and throws her head back as if it is all just too, too much. She is a Miss Piggy and devours food, which I thoroughly enjoy. We like everything but green beans so far - even peas! She has not decided that it's time to sit up (she does occasionally, but mostly just falls over), but that's not stopping her. She is an absolute hoot. She wants everything Jack has and mostly he does a good job of sharing, but I can tell she is going to give him fits.

I am still nursing and it's going well. Much easier to spread out feedings than it was with Jack. Charlotte it so laid back about it. Nursing is one of my favorite things about the babes - just being with them, the closeness, and the part that is mine alone to share with them.

Hubs & I are busy bears as well...tackling some fun home projects and personal ones as well. In a week we will have a new deck and new wood floors! I am thrilled to no longer look at the stained old carpet our former owners left behind. Ok, we did most of the staining, I'm sure, but I will blame them because they were sort of jerks anyway. I ran a half marathon earlier this month and actually enjoyed it very much. My time was under what I planned running in and I think eventually I will do another one, despite the fact that my hips did not work properly the entire next day and I'm still not sure the old flexors are recovered. Hubs is getting ready to start coaching summer baseball again, which means life at the diamond will officially starting. I found a pair of cleats for Jack and he didn't take them off for about a week. He loves them and it may be the best gift he's ever gotten. He is thrilled to be the bat boy this summer and I can only imagine what he is going to learn from a group of 16 year old boys. Here's hoping what happens in the dugout, stays in the dugout.

Picture post later on - I have many new ones to share! Hope everyone is enjoying their spring thus far! xoxo

Jack is growing more and more independent every day. This week he is picking out his outfits - normally I give him a choice and he usually picks out his pants. He refuses to wear jeans to the sitter because (and I quote) "they come undone when I slide down the stairs and it hurts." Point taken. Elastic band pants or actual buttons to the sitter's house. So, this week has been baseball themed except for the shirt today that he decided was too big, so we opted for Star Wars instead. Yesterday took the cake. He was absolutely adamant about the socks and shoes. Exhibit A:

I explained that we usually don't rock the socks/sandals combo and that they might be easier to wear without socks, which sent him into a heap on the floor. We wore the socks. Note that one is upside down. Note that Charlotte (in the car seat) is not wearing shoes. I don't think her feet have grown since birth. She cannot wear shoes - she swims in them and they fall right off of her feet - if they don't first wind up in her mouth. Toes to mouth is her favorite way to roll. Speaking of rolling, she's rolling, scooting, and squirming. She barely stays in the Bumbo seat. So far she has unraveled a roll of paper towels, pulled a plant down, and examined a bunch of bananas, and gone for the knives (thank you hubs for intercepting that one) while sitting atop her perch. Either we get a tray or she is no longer the counter top helper. She is lightning fast - quicker than even Jack was. She goes in circles on her belly and scoots backwards. Her tooth came through (!) and she is sampling baby veggies. Sweet potatoes:
I have a nearly identical picture of Jack eating carrots. Speaking of which:
Charlotte's head is not quite as massive (he has power alleys too!), but fun to remember Jack at that age. Right now could be his most fun yet. He is discovering and playing and growing so compassionate and loving. He is very proud of his potty training and decided to make the backyard his personal toilet the other night...#2, on the steps. He came in, breathless, and reported that "Maddie ate my poop!". Yes, my dog. Should I even be writing this? The fact that he went outside is enough, but the dog. The dog! Thank heavens for privacy fences. So, not only is the dog demolishing the sock population of the house (I'm not sure we have any actual matching pairs), she is also the sewage department. She has also eaten two pairs of Charlotte's shoes (not that she ever could wear them, I guess), her jacket, numerous stuffed animal ears, and so on. But how can you not love her?
Anywho, I leave you today with more pictures of my babes. Oh, they make me smile...

March Madness has begun and I assume that since productivity levels at work have plummeted, I might as well throw a blog into the mix. Last night I was thinking of a brilliant post and of course today has brought me back to a blank slate. I can't think straight, I'm sleep deprived and worn down! Miss C has decided that teething should be taken to a whole new level and our household is all paying the price. Except maybe the cat - which brings me to my original thoughts from last night. Random much? I have a list of things that I need to do in my house that simply cannot get finished for all of the reasons mentioned above. The baby papasan that is hardly used has now become a cat's bed on our bedroom floor. It's gross, and if I don't wash it soon and put it away, I'm going to be able to make a blanket out of the hair collecting on it. The problem is that he is always sleeping in it, and I have a problem disturbing sleeping things, people, babies, etc. I have paint sitting in our entryway - which has been painted, but my next project - which I have decided is painting the den - remains untouched. My closet is a hellhole of unorganized shoes, scarves, and purses that I've been saying I'll "clean up" for weeks. I have pictures that need organizing and put into frames. My house isn't a hovel of filth - it's actually pretty clean all things considered - but the things that haven't been done really need doing. I used to be a night owl, doing my most productive work after everyone had gone to bed. Now I'm lucky if I make it to the 10:00 Golden Girls on Hallmark.

The kids are growing wildly fast. I don't even know where to begin. I started thinking about Jack being a little boy now instead of a toddler and I just wanted to wrap him up in my arms like he was a baby again. I miss the days of doing "rockie" in the chair before bedtime and watching him learn to walk. His huge open-mouthed smiles and pulling everything out of the cabinets. Now he's using words like "interested" and "mystery" and organizing his blocks by color. When did he get so grown up? He only wants to wear sweats and insists on taking "bp" in the house. Charlotte is doing so many things like her big brother did - squealing and wriggling all over like a little worm. I think we have a little pistol on our hands...she is desperate to sit up, eat big girl food, and crawl. Her eyes have an ornery twinkle and she can cry and cry in some one's arms, then when I take her, she laughs at them. Laughs! She is ticklish and loves kisses and is starting to belly laugh...one of my favorite sounds in the whole world. So much like her brother, yet so completely different. I constantly pinch myself because I am amazed that I got two of the coolest kids around.

Tonight and this weekend, I will attempt to sandwich some projects in between basketball games some much needed hops, and some nice long runs. Let's hear it for the Jayhawks, my hubby, and my kiddos...love you!

Yesterday we bid farewell to one of the happiest, silliest, amazing hearted women ever...sweet G'ma Margaret. A lady who truly lived, laughed, and loved...and we will miss her dearly. Some of my favorite memories of G'ma include: Her big, dangly earrings - she loved her costume jewelry (maybe where I got my adoration for it) and as a kid I was always amazed at her earrings. She loved to play pitch and was a cheat! As my cousin fondly remembered, she only needed the "ace/deuce" to win a hand, which she usually did. The lady hated to lose and was fiercely competitive. We played a lot of dominoes in the last few years and I remember she'd sneak pieces out of her stash into the "bone pile" to go out faster. She loved ice cream (something I may have inherited as well, darn it!) and I think might have eaten it for every meal if she was allowed. She was such a doll with her scratchy voice and easy laugh. I was touched at all of the memories shared at her funeral. Memories I shared with my cousins and some from before I was born, yet I was delighted just the same. Such a doll...I will miss her to bits. One of the things I hate about funerals is seeing grown men weep...and my tough guy cousins were all brought to tears and it was heart wrenching, but clearly the woman was cherished by all. And leave it to my Jack Jack to bring a smile to my face...after I read a scripture and was leaving the podium, he says for all to hear, "Good job, mama," then reaches for a big hug. Wow, I love that kid. He kept telling us he missed Grandma Margaret and that we needed to be quiet not to wake her. Such a sweetie. He never misses a beat. Someone said to me today, "It's easy to be lighthearted around children." And it's true - they make the toughest situations easier to swallow...xoxo G'ma Marg.

I keep thinking of things lately that I need to mention. Things about Jack that I am afraid I will forget...like at the sitter's when he and B get married and do their wedding dance while I watch. Or how they played brother and sister and "slept" on the floor for a slumber party. Today he smooched her cheek while she giggled helplessly. Or how he walks past and says, "I can't talk now, I have to go to baseball practice," or "Mom, I'm going to football practice, I'm on the Chiefs." The way he jumps around the room shooting an imaginary gun because I won't let him play with a real one or using the vacuum cleaner attachments as baseball bats. Always asking me who I want to be - will it be Princess Leia, Alicia from Diego, Ariel, or any of the other female counterparts to his male heroes. We are always pretending. He often pretends he's his cousin, Cade - Charlotte is Riley and hubby and I are my sister and her husband. Our house is a fantasy land of characters and the hilarity of it never gets old. What are my favorite colors? Do I like purple, orange, or red (I think we all know the answer to that one). The way he says, "Mommy, come sit by me, I love you," or "I missed you while you were gone today." These words have become so frequent lately and I hope he never loses that soft-hearted little personality I adore. I love you, Bubby!

Jack has come up with some real beauties lately. I'm trying to decide where he gets his wicked sense of humor and wit and I realize I have to look no further than the mirror. Ha. Seriously - after two years, his favorite song remains "Low" by Flo Rida. Not a particularly child (or woman) friendly song, but hilarious all the same to watch him sing it 1. To his sister while naked 2. While using his great-grandmother's cane as a microphone ("Ladies and gentlemen," he says), or 3. In the car and telling me that not only am I not allowed to dance to it, but if I sing to it, I will spit up. Spit up = throw up in Jack's book. Our babysitter is endlessly delighted by his charming ways. The other day while she took him on some errands, he told her - rather loudly - as they passed the beer cooler, that "My dad LOOOOVES beer. I mean, looooves it." So, I'm sure that not only does she think we are alcoholics, but that we also love misogynistic music. All class, all the time. Today he threw up at the sitters...which on a normal day would have been fine, but came on the heels of a three day stint in the hospital for Miss Charlotte (thank you, pneumonia - mother of the year here). The hits just keep on coming!

So Charlotte is a zillion times better. Her hoarse little cries and horrible cough were so sad. I was truly scared for the little gal. I drug her all the way to Texas to meet her great grandma and she was such a trooper. After three days in the hospital and wrapping every nurse around her chubby little finger, we headed home for several more days of isolation. It's one thing to be home, but another one completely to know that you really. can't. leave. Wow. I know for a fact that I ate an entire box of Thin Mints in less than 24 hours. Those damn Girl Scouts probably give you way fewer cookies than they used to. And they're so delicious coming out of the freezer. Charlotte learned how to roll from her belly to her back, so she's officially on the move now, rolling, rolling all over the floor. I think she might be even busier than her brother. She does not want to miss a minute. A photo of her practicing:
She is a wild woman for sure. I'm thinking she will keep dear old dad on his toes so it might be convenient that dad is handy when it comes to hunting.

A few other photos of the kiddos:

So, over the terrifically busy (and tiring) weekend, I managed to co-host a successful jewelry party, make Valentine snacks for a brunch, drink too much wine, and watch in delight as my little girl rolled from her back to her belly. She is so pleased! I am simultaneously thrilled and sad that she is already reaching (I accidentally typed reading first - wouldn't that be something!?) these milestones. This little gal is moving right along. I believe her bottom middle teeth are ready to burst through. She is close to gnawing her little fist off. Time is flying for my little gal who is growing like a weed and blowing raspberries nonstop. She is so darling!

I pre-enrolled Jack in preschool today. I think I'm fine, but now I'm realizing that the tears are slightly welling up thinking of it. Preschool? Really? I really believe he needs a challenge - the boy is so smart. He's ready for anything. I hope some innocent girl doesn't get the wrath of his fist like B at the sitter's did last week. Poor gal - took it like a champ. Two bites, a punch to the gut, and he managed to knock her off of a toy chair. I think he's just a boy and this is how they function because their little minds don't know what else to do. I'm sure Charlotte will treat us to her girly dramatic meltdowns when the time comes - the kiddos just handle frustration differently.But anywho, it is totally unacceptable and we are definitely working on it. I hold my breath on the walk up to the sitter's door - waiting to hear the latest. He really is a love bug, honestly. Last week at gymnastics he was convinced a darling redhead was a baby and insisted he needed to hold her. He smothered her with hugs, baby talk, and repeatedly tried to hold her hand. "But I wanted to hold that baby," he kept saying. She (and her father) were good sports about it. I'm a little nervous for tomorrow. I have to say, that's what impresses me most about Jack right now. He loves babies. Baby babies, baby animals...he saw a baby Panda on TV last night and that was it. "I want that baby Panda, mama, I want it." The baby kittens in his new (old) favorite movie The Aristocats..."That baby kitty, mama, I love it." I want to buy him 14 baby kittens and watch him bask in their tiny cuteness.

I told hubby the other day that I wouldn't mind a third little G running around. I got the old eyebrow raise and was assured that we aren't ready to run a zone defense and we need to stick to man to man. I think maybe I might be high on spit-up fumes or just the fact that I adore my little peanuts more than I can say. I know I say it a lot, but they are the most precious gifts I could ever have. My dreamy little babies who light up my world...they make me laugh, cry, love, and live.

Happy Third, My Little Bear!

Happy third birthday, my little babe! Thursday, February 8, at 1:03 in the afternoon, you came into this world...a lunchtime baby they called you. I labored for 29 1/2 hours - you were determined to stay in my belly forever - and after 45 minutes of pushing, there you were! Perfect! So much brown, crazy hair...foreshadowing to your personality, I suppose. Your fingers and toes were so tiny - just seven pounds of you laying in my arms (at least 5.5 was your bucket head!), gazing at me as if to say, "I know you."

How in the world have three years gone by so quickly? I swear it was only yesterday when you were somersaulting around inside my belly and today you are running around doing it in gymnastics class. You are my bouncy, crazy, silly, funny, wild, tender-hearted little man...ornery like a little boy should be, sometimes naughty like you shouldn't be, and at the same time, such a lovable little fellow.

You entered the world pretty quietly and contently, but it didn't last long. You were easy and happy and as soon as you found your voice you were hollering and laughing to anyone who would listen. You came with me everywhere. You skipped over crawling and went straight to running. You occasionally shared a water dish with the dogs. Walking at nine months...talking a short time later. You'd say "woof woof!" constantly. I can't remember when I haven't been able to have a conversation with you. I discovered so much about myself from having you...a capability to love a person more than I could have imagined. You captured my heart with your puppy dog eyes and easy laugh. You did everything so quickly and wanted to grow up so fast! I went sleepless for nearly a year because you woke up a zillion times a night. To eat, chat, poop, whatever...I didn't even mind because it meant a few more precious minutes with you. The first day I dropped you off at the sitter, I cried all day. I no longer cry but it hasn't gotten any easier. Ok, I'll be honest, sometimes I do still cry.

You are growing so fast...you question everything in the world. What does this animal eat? I saw the firetrucks, who is hurt? What's this? Where's that? Endless questions for your curious little mind. You are such a boy's boy...loving the outdoors, football, and hunting (gasp!) because your daddy does. You love animals immensely. You are convinced that only certain colors, driving, and football are for boys. You can't wait to ride your Lightning McQueen bike when the weather gets warmer and you are counting the days until you can be Daddy's bat boy this summer. You are too smart for your own good - and you know it. You are witty and silly and the perfect three-year old package.

I am so proud of how much you love your baby sister...I love to watch you with her. My heart melts when you touch her face and baby talk with her. I adore that you hold her and just want to watch her at times...you truly are a wonderful big brother. You are turning into such a little man...it breaks my heart that you are no longer a baby, even though you will always be mine. I love you, my little bear...happy birthday!

As I often do, I read about my friend Sarah at Mashed Bananas and am reminded that I need to blog. She is a better woman than I, doing it at night, away from work, but that's not the way I roll. Maybe I just don't have enough to do here...maybe I just don't want to do it.

First off, I thank the potty training gods for finally getting Jack over the hump. Again, could have been the Diego underpants or just the simple fact that the child was ready. Hubby and I are breathing a collective sigh of relief. Those damn pull-ups were sucking the life out of me and my wallet. We still aren't where we can go pull-up-less at night, but as long as the days are dry, I'm good. No accidents for a couple of weeks now...(sorry little guy, hope I didn't jinx you!**).

Life is immensely better with Miss Charlotte in the world...and I'll get to that...but balance. How do you do it and not feel guilt? My house is nowhere near the cleanliness level I need and it's driving me insane. I want to be with my kids more. I want to work, too. My jeans don't fit and it's making me want to cry. I don't think a beautiful wardrobe of shoes matters when there's nothing to go on top. Speaking of top, don't get me started. I sincerely believe I am within five lbs and realize that it does take time, but I need my jeans. I refuse to spend money on new ones at this point out of sheer stubbornness. My wardrobe is taking a major hit without denim. I can't wear sweats to work every day. I remember thinking it took about six months for things to feel normal on my body again, but that six months is still two and a half work months away. Shit! I constantly remind myself that all of this is worth it, and it is. It totally is, but I tend to lose sight of that when I'm standing in my closet, bawling for 45 minutes, cursing at my husband for having zero sympathy, late to Christmas dinner because there's nothing that can possibly fit my post-baby body. F*&K!

But Charlotte...Charlotte is an absolute dream girl. She is insanely spoiled - I can barely put her down, and that's just the way she likes it. When she's ready to get out of her swing or seat and she fusses a bit, she immediately laughs when I pick her up, as if to say, "Ha! I got you!" I love her kicking and excitement when she sees me! I almost forgot the joy that a little baby can bring with her discoveries and personality. Of course Jack has been delighting us with his tooting ("it's firetrucks!"), going to the bathroom ("I fell in the pee water, Mom"), recent infatuation with Luke Skywalker (sunglasses on, "I'm Skywalker" - even though he's never seen the show ??), apparent new hobby of peeing in the sink (?!?), filling the sink ("swimming pool") with cat food and water, to reasons why he should not eat boogers (he doesn't, but said, "what if I get hungry?"). The child is a pistol.

Charlotte makes up for it in coolness. Sleeps like a dream and wakes up smiling. How could I not enjoy waking up to a face like hers? She is finding her voice - yelling and squealing - and has even rolled from front to back. Obviously a genius child. To my horror, I think she is teething. How is this happening so fast? I am not prepared for this. My daughter! daughter! ...already pushing four months in the blink of an eye. I haven't decided yet who she looks like. I think she just looks like her darling little self with a bit of her mom's nose and her brother's wild hair (also inherited from her mother). I can't wait to see who she looks like, who she is, yet I want her to stay a snugly baby forever.

And finally, some photos...the "swimming pool" and a few other candids of the kiddos...


The final picture is obviously a cop car parade in the refrigerator...Jack puts things in there to keep them safe from Maddie, and just because he likes playing in the fridge in general (it's where all of his "deliveries" are when he plays mailman. I've gotten many applesauce, jello, mustard, and cream cheese packages).

**Editor's note...I totally jinxed him.

I'm trying to balance work and two kids, the guilt that comes along with being home for the last three months and suddenly leaving them. I hate it. I love a paycheck and I love using my brain for adult conversation and tasks, but I miss my kiddos. I will say, some bad habits can develop over the course of a long maternity leave. For one thing, there's only so much you can do with a two-year old and a newborn when it's cold out, and I became an expert at every show on Nick, Jr. I know every show that's on HGTV and I was briefly obsessed with Ellen DeGeneres (I really miss her and really think we could be besties). And no, I don't need to eat every single time I'm nursing Charlotte - or do I? What's another handful of Cheez-its when you are married to your sweats? But I digress. It's the first week back to work and I'm not happy about it. I find myself wondering if it's real. Did I ever actually leave? It's like summer vacation - once you step back into the school, it's a distant memory. I sometimes think I am still pregnant and thought I saw my former big-bellied self in a window reflection.

Charlotte is a dreamy little gal who is at her chattiest in the morning (probably because she actually sleeps!!!) and loves to have her diaper changed (foreshadowing to an easy potty training, perhaps?). She is starting to holler and laugh and I love it. She is such an easygoing baby - how did we get so lucky? Two fantastic babes! Jack is finally agreeing to go to the bathroom...could it be the Diego underwear? Maybe it's the Pop Rocks that hubby has turned him onto when he goes alone. Either way, I'm at the point where I'd feed him sugar cubes just to be done with it, so I think we're almost there!

Speaking of Jack. He is not interested in sharing his parents with little Charlotte. Don't get me wrong, he treats her wonderfully, but the brunt of his frustration is now taken out on mom. He is no longer mama's boy, but daddy's. He talks back. He hits things. He even told me I was going to get my ass spanked. Very nice. Especially considering ass is the one cuss word that hasn't slipped out in front of him, so I'm wondering where he heard it. I don't want him to hate me and I know he doesn't, but it hurts. Just the other morning he was laying with hubby and I came in to kiss him, he said, "Don't bother us, Mommy." Sob. This morning I brought him milk and he said, "I want Daddy to bring the milk, not you." Sob sob. I cried to hubby but he doesn't get it. He didn't nurse the child for a year, wake up with him every two hours for almost a year, cry at work when he left him for the first time, pump milk every day at work for a zillion days, sing the KU alma mater and any other song he wanted at bedtime (I'm no longer wanted at bedtime now, apparently), carry him everywhere, even while nine months pregnant because I wanted to hold him for as long as possible, and sneak into his bedroom long after he was sleeping just to see him one last time...I could go on, but then I'd be crying even harder. Like any mother, I will keep trying, keep loving, and keep waiting for him to come back around.

Can eleven weeks have passed already? Just a few short weeks ago I was hugely pregnant, hoping for baby to come on its own, treating Jack to a day all his own where he ate Cheetos, hot dogs, pizza, went to the zoo, and he purchased a Hawaiian Punch out of a machine just for the sheer novelty. I don't believe he drank a drop. My big boy is now looking huge and so grown up compared to his new baby sister. Miss Charlotte...born on October 7 at 5:07 pm after an eternity of waiting.

I never went into labor on my own...Miss Stubborn was facing the wrong way and didn't want to budge. She wanted in my warm belly forever...maybe she knew the Jayhawks were ready to begin a skid so horrendous she couldn't witness it...who knows. She didn't come around until about 4:15 in the afternoon when she decided to turn, my body decided to dilate and she moved down over the course of 15 minutes. I'm SO glad I asked for the epidural to be turned down so that I could feel these moments in all of their heinously painful glory. Right. 20 minutes of pushing and there she was!!! Gorgeous, amazing, a head full of rooster hair just like her big brother, and a set of lungs to make Aretha proud. Perfect!

Oh, my baby girl...what a gem she is. Laughing, smiling, blowing bubbles, and the occasional bout of colic - but nothing major. The girl belches and farts like a truck driver and loves to be walked around so she can see her little world. She sleeps like a champ and likes napping in her swing or car seat the best. She coos and flirts and oh my, I love her. Who doesn't love her? Jack adores her...kissing and loving her and occasionally holding her until he decides, "Mom, she's too heavy," and gives her back. There's nothing like hearing your husband talking to his baby girl, whispering, "Hi beautiful girl!" "Good morning pretty girl!"... you know, the things that used to be reserved for the wife. I love it. I can't believe how much I love her - I really do have room for both!

These past few weeks have been glorious. I know that I will cherish this time with both my babies forever - and being able to spend 12 weeks at home getting to know Charlotte Jane and playing with my big boy Jack has been priceless. They have both changed so much!