The first Friday of high school football and I'm wondering where the heck time went? Sunday my g'ma turns 94 (wow!) and Tuesday = September. Yikes. In one week I'll be 32...and finished with week 36. Yowsa! Where did this pregnancy go? Seems I was just sneaking to the lab to take a pregnancy test to surprise hubby. Now I sit here, trying to find some sort of comfortable way to blog while trying to breathe and keep baby's rear end from bursting through my navel. Several highlights involving Jack and his antics:


Head butt (gently) to my belly. "Mom. I want to pop your belly."

Knock, knock, knock (on the belly) "Hello? Is anyone home?"

"Maddie," he says. "Get off of my peanuts!" In case you were wondering, peanuts = penis.

A second time using the rocks in the yard for an outhouse. I suppose at least it wasn't in his pants and I didn't have to clean it up. Yay!

And finally...Miss Maddie taken to get spayed. Veterinarian found my leggings (the pants I own five pairs of and love and wear for every single workout and consider my "uniform" outside of work) inside of her...belly. Yes. Makes me wonder what other treasures have passed through her stomach of steel. She is a dingbat, but I love her. She infuriates me at times, but how can I be mad at a dog who insists on laying in my lap like a baby? 60 pounds of monster puppy.


My belly has dropped - just a smidge. I do still have a minuscule belly button, but that is quickly going by the wayside. I'm thinking it's not actually going to "pop out", which is sort of a relief because I have a serious fear of outties and if I actually had one, I'd probably have to do something drastic with some type of tape. Baby's head is headed for the light at the end of the tunnel and I can sure tell. I swear there is a shot put in there. I still have no clue what I think it is and feel about as intuitive as Phoebe when she was pregnant on Friends. My sister, however has had a recurring and extraordinarily vivid dream about a dark-haired baby girl coming about three weeks ahead of schedule. Hmm. That would be in two weeks. As much as I'm ready to be finished, I think I'd like he/she to cook a little longer than that. Nice & crispy is fine with me.


Potty training is also...well, not really happening anymore. Jack is no longer interested and I can't stress about it - I have enough on my plate and the last thing I need is to worry about him going to the bathroom when we could be enjoying other things. I know he'll do it when he's ready. I am slightly disappointed because I had such high hopes for a firetruck-underwear-wearing toddler before baby got here, but it's seriously not happening. No amount of trucks, marshmallows, balloons, or bribes have gotten him away from the dark side. He clearly does not want to go the "big boy" way. Although he is embarrassed to wear diapers, so we do have that on our side I suppose.


Well, as I said, it's Friday night during school, which = me as a football widow. As in, I've lost my husband to refereeing for the next several weeks and will be dating Jack and catching up on whatever movies Red Box has to offer. Which really is fine - I think I need to keep things as low key as possible.


Time to stretch out and give this baby some room to start wiggling...the nighttime dance party has begun!