Shamu Lives in Kansas!

I got weighed yesterday. It wasn't pretty. And it wasn't the actual number, it was just the gain that has taken place in the last month. I was dumbfounded. I cried in front of my doctor. I have no shame. She handed me a box of tissues and tried to calm me. I'm sure I'm not the first woman to break down. Not to mention, the nurse (not my usual nurse), who I will lovingly refer to as b!tch-a$$ whore from now on, says this to a crying, hormonal mother-to-be, "Well, I'm in my third month and I haven't gained weight yet." No shit, you bastardly woman! I didn't either! I only gained four pounds by my fifth month! Just you wait - you will be a cow just like me, you horrid woman! I officially hate her.

I called my mom and got teary again. She did her best to soothe my wounded soul and it does help. I suppose it's true...you can't fight nature. This has been the hardest thing about the pregnancy and believe me, I know it's ridiculous and probably selfish. I think most women will agree that the body changes are really hard to adjust to. Especially when you spend hours and hours sweating, lunging, running, Pilates-ing, lifting to make your body look how you want it and then bam! I knew it would bother me, but I wasn't prepared for just how much. I cried for eff's sake! In front of my doctor, who probably thinks I'm a lunatic. Not to mention, she's in my Pilates class too, so it's not like I only see her at the office! I think I'm probably being a huge brat about this, but I don't care.

I don't know if I believe those women who say "pregancy was so beautiful, I loved my body." I don't know if I love it! I know I love my Baby times a bajillion times infinity, but this is hard. I'm starting to well up again. Maybe it's because in the words of Carly Simon, I'm so vain. Maybe I'm more weight conscious than I should be. Maybe I should be grateful right now that my feet aren't swollen (I can still wear heels!) and my ass isn't the size of a semi-tractor trailer. I know it's only in my stomach, so where is it all coming from? The rest of my body hasn't changed (yet, that is). Surely the scale was wrong! It had to be! Maybe it was the bottle of water I drank, weighing me down. Maybe I need to make my damn appointments in the morning instead of after lunch! Craps!

Anyway...now that I have been unbelievably selfish, I will tell you that baby is doing fabulously. I wasn't kidding about the gymnast in my tum-tum. Baby was moving so much the doc could hardly get the heart rate...but it's ticking away at about 160 these days. Must be all that activity. I'm 24 weeks and 3 days as of today...seems like a lot of time left, but it's going so quickly. Before you know it, February will be here with a little bundle of joy. I think I will call it my little Love Bug.